As I mentioned on Facebook the other day, Darby found himself some cat poop the other day...
*tap tap tap*
"Uh, Mom, you said I could tell the story and you'd type what I said."
O.K., Darby. I'll let you tell it.
"Well, I was out for morning patrol and I found me a great pile of cat poop, fresh and everything, like a gift, almost. No way I was letting that go to waste so *bam*, in I jumped, sliding and smushing it all over me. And I did great! I had poop and grass pieces from the corner of my eye all the way down my side in big brown swirls. I was super proud of how well I got it smushed in --- until my folks caught me.
'Darby, why the hell did you do that?' Dad said.
'Because he's a dog,' Mom answered (duh).
'Well, he's not coming near the house like that. We're going to have to hose him off.'
'Of course we are, since I actually have on decent clothes and managed to dry my hair today so it would look decent tonight,' Mom said.
Mom went in to change clothes and get some shampoo while I hung out in the back yard, drawing flies. She came back out and Dad held my collar while she washed out all my hard work and tried to make me smell like a clean dog. It took a while, but she finally said I was as good as I was going to get and told Dad to let go of me.
Happy!!!! I was happy to finally be free, plus I was wet, which is almost as good as poop, but not quite, so I did what love doing when I'm wet --- I found a spot on the grass and rolled around. Yep, I got more grass in my fur, even if I missed the poop patch this time.
I trotted back to Mom, tail held high. Then I noticed she had "the look". Not the scary look when I know she's mad, but the other one...the one that says she's getting her way, no matter what. She said something about a 'last straw', but that didn't make any sense. It was grass, not straw. Geez, even I know the difference.
She told Dad to go in the house and go back to work. Then she went in and left me in the yard for a few minutes.
When Mom called for me, I came in, like I always do. She asked me to come into the back room. She had the radio on and a nice blanket on the bed for me, so I hopped up and stretched out. I figured we were going to do some 'grooming', since she likes doing it back there, but I was not ready for what happened next.
Mom reached behind her and...
CAT!!!!!! There's a cat out back and I've got to go RIGHT NOW.
I'll have to finish my story tomorrow..."